Lentil Case

A very disturbing development, kittens. After Kundalini yoga tonight I made my customary pilgrimage to  Kitsilano Capers. I like to have a light bite before hitting the futon. Much as I try to be in the moment I usually start planning what I will eat after class about three quarters of the way through. In this case I meant to have a nice salad full of cleansing cabbage and skin-softening olives and a hearty slice of lentil loaf. The lentil loaf is just perfect. It sticks together nicely without being dry, is meat and dairy free(I like that after yoga)and best of all: it has the most beautifully congealed mix of organic ketchup and soft onions baked on the top. I cannot underscore enough how moving the ketchup-onion thing is especially if you’re lucky enough to get an end piece and the ketchup is caramelized.

I didn’t see it in the deli cooler but even at that point I didn’t sense something was very, very wrong. It was late, they must have just put it away right? I’m afraid not. I can barely write the words.

Here goes: the lentil loaf has been savagely axed off the menu. I knew this Whole Foods takeover would result in something like this. They give us a year to get nice and comfy and then they claw back the lentil loaf. The staff tried offering my a lentil burger instead. Sigh. That just goes to show how little they understand. One dreadlocked deli clerk gave me a sympathetic look and went in the back to print me off an old lentil loaf label so that I might try making my old friend at home. I will do my best and post my efforts at writing the recipe here, but seriously there are like, 300 ingredients which is probably why it’s so awesome.

Meantime, fellow foodies, please go to Capers, fill out a customer comment form and plead, implore, DEMAND that the luscious lentil loaf be returned to its rightful place in the deli cooler.

On the way home I made up a little song to inspire us in our cause. It goes like this:

(plaintively)

Lentil loaf, lentil loaf, you are so delicious
I can skip meat and fishes
All that i wish is
Lentil loaf, lentil loaf
Come back to meeeee

This isn’t over. Not by a long shot

Love,

Jasmine, The Food Reporter